Mitch had been very active in Jewish life through high school and college. He served as President of the Pacific Southwest region of USY, the Conservative Movement’s national youth group, and joined AEPi, the Jewish fraternity, in college. When his relationship with Lauren became serious, he knew that their religious differences presented a challenge. They even broke up for a period of time, but ultimately decided to get back together, and eventually got engaged.
As someone who cares deeply about the Jewish future, it’s a challenge for me when an active and committed Jew marries someone who is not Jewish. I greatly appreciate all of the interfaith couples that are here today, but also recognize that there are many more that are not spending this Saturday in synagogue.
The Jewish future depends on families raising their children Jewish, and I’m not sure if this is something that Mitch and Lauren are committed to. This very fact alone would prevent some Reform Rabbis from helping to officiate Mitch’s wedding.
However, as someone who cares deeply about the Jewish future, I think that not fully embracing a loving union such as Mitch and Lauren’s is the exact wrong approach. Every opportunity to inspire someone—especially someone who is marrying a Jew—with the meaning, purpose and significance of Jewish life is an opportunity not to be wasted. In being asked to help conduct the ceremony, Mitch was giving me the greatest opportunity to bring Jewish significance into his wedding day.
Specifically, my role was to explain the meaning of the breaking of the glass, the final act of the wedding ceremony. This is what I said:
The Kabbalists, the Jewish mystics, tell a story that in order to create the world, God gathered God’s light into a number of vessels. The vessels couldn’t withstand the power of God and shattered into a million pieces, spreading the divine spark into every element of creation. It is our responsibility to see the divine spark in every living thing, and to gather together God's light in the act of repairing the world.
The shattered pieces of this glass, I said to Mitch and Lauren, represent the commencement of a life-long commitment to repair the brokenness of the world and to bring God’s light into your home. Relationships take work, but with sustained effort, love, and a consistent acknowledgment of the divine spark in one another, your life and union will emanate with God’s light.
And with that, the most divine moment of the wedding happened. As Mitch stepped down and shattered the glass, and as family and friends, Jews and non-Jews, shouted Mazel tov, Lauren leapt into Mitch’s arms and gave him biggest, most passionate kiss I have ever seen at any wedding. There was such kedushah—such holiness—in that moment. Nothing else mattered but the divine light of their union.
As I enter the new year, this is the moment that will remind me that regardless of differences, we must embrace love, for only then can we truly see all of creation as b’tzelem elohim, as made in God’s image.
Delivered on Rosh Hashana 2009 (5770)
Rodef Sholom, San Rafael, CA
that was so beautiful! Reminiscent of my favorite of Rabbi Chester sermon, from Kol Knidre last year. He spoke directly to all the converts and thanked them for dedicating their lives, their children to the jewish faith. A very personal note for my family. Wish i could have been there to hear your sermon in person, shana tova!
ReplyDeleteThe part about "every opportunity to inspire someone" was really beautiful and is a perfect description of why I do the work I do. Well said Danny! Thanks for sharing!!
ReplyDeleteSusanne